[Trinity Cathedral in Columbia, South Carolina] On December 14, 2012, the unthinkable happened.  Twenty children and six adults were killed when a lone gunman, Adam Lanza opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT.

It was a beautiful Friday morning; my day off.  I will, on occasion, spend my Fridays painting with children in local schools.  Hammond School in Columbia, SC had invited me to paint with children in their Lower School.  They were studying about the continent of Africa and wanted me to work with them on a style of painting called “Tinga Tinga”.  Tinga Tinga is a painting style that developed in the second half of the 20th century in Tanzania and later spread to most East Africa.  These days there are various Tinga Tinga schools of painting – from intricate and detailed animals intertwined with the feathers of peacocks, to tourist-oriented work with simple stylized characters at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro.  The colors are almost always intense and bright.

It was a fantastic morning. We painted and learned together.  We “traveled” to Tanzania.  There were bold colors and lots of laughter.  The joy of childhood was palpable.

Little did I know that at that same time I was working with school children in Columbia, SC, sheer terror and tragedy was unfolding in the hallways and classrooms of a small town elementary school in a community called Sandy Hook.

What happened on December 14, 2012 brought the world to its knees.

Fast forward…
In late March of this year, Sharon Ely Pearson, Christian Formation Specialist with Church Publishing, Inc. contacted me about Newtown.  A Connecticut native, Sharon is very active in the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut and is an incredible support to Christian Educators across the nation.

Sharon had been in communication with Sue Vogelman, the Director of Christian Education at Trinity Episcopal Church in Newtown.  Sue was looking at how she might gather the children to talk about faith and God and what happened and wanted to know if Sharon had any ideas on how she might facilitate this kind of conversation.

Trinity Church, Newtown is a congregation that serves many families with children who attended Sandy Hook Elementary.  Ben Wheeler, a child of the congregation was one of the children killed.

“The children are very resilient but as time goes on they have been asking a lot more questions, faith questions, questions about God and death,” says Sharon Pearson.  “Many of the Sunday School teachers are also parents.  Having their children come to church and asking these questions in the context of faith has been difficult.  Parents are looking for support in answering those questions, because they have those questions, too.”

The Painting Table
I am the Canon for Children’s Ministries at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Columbia, SC.  I am in my 16^th year at the Cathedral.

I am also an artist.

I paint at my Grandmother’s table, a table I once played under as a child and on which I enjoyed vibrant and delicious meals.  The table became a Eucharistic symbol for me.  It is the place where I go to paint, pray, and remember.

It has become such an important place for me, that I knew I had to invite others to the table.

That is what it is all about, isn’t it?

Newtown
On Friday, May 3, we pulled into Newtown…and I fell in love.

It was a gorgeous day.  The skies were a clear crystal blue.  The temperatures were hovering around 70 degrees.  The rolling green hills were dotted with yellow forsythia and pink cherry blossoms.  An American flag waived proudly in the center of town.  And children/teens…they were everywhere!  It was a half-day from school and they were making the most of a free afternoon.  They were in the ice cream shops and restaurants.  They were kicking soccer balls and playing.  They were doing what children do best.

It warmed my heart to see this.

Once at Trinity, we prepared the “Undercroft” for The Painting Table.  We had arranged to have two sessions – one for children and families, and one for adults only.  We expected that there might be 20 or so people who participated, but when it was all said and done, some 50+ children and adults joined in.

The room was set up with round tables.  On each table we had canvas paper, paints, baby wipes, toothpicks, cotton swabs, pencils, writing paper, and scraps of cardboard.  Everyone gathered at the tables…mothers with their children, friend with friend, and neighbor with neighbor.  We lit a candle, I gave a few instructions, and the painting began.

It was a powerful evening.  We were especially thrilled to have Ana Hernandez join us.  Ana is a composer, arranger, and performer of sacred music.  She brought a number of different instruments and her music filled the space.  People’s conversations were not overwhelmed but held aloft.  When the children were finished painting (and hands were washed!), Ana invited them to play with the different instruments.  It was a joyful sound!

The end result of The Painting Table is not the painting that is created.  It is the conversation, sharing, and listening that takes place around the table.  It is one mother comforting another mother as they both grieve for their friend who lost a child.  It is about the conversation I had with a 3^rd grade girl who told me she had had a really bad day.  Her painting was dark and frantic.  I listened to her for a little while – then encouraged her to paint another one.  The second painting was a bit more colorful.  She took her two paintings and smashed them together.  When she pulled them apart, the darkness had lifted.  I could see light and love.  …and a beautiful smile.

The Painting Table is also about the conversation I had with a young mother who told me that she feels guilty sometimes that she still has her children.  She shared with me what it was like to take her children home on that tragic day – passing house after house with state patrol cars in the driveways.

Or the mother who told me how her first grader, a big boy for his age, had climbed up into her lap and sobbed when he learned that his friend was not going to be there when he returned to school.

I am hopeful that sharing these stories brought some sort of peace to their lives.  There will always be 26 holes in the hearts of these people and their community.  I also believe that within the grief that exists, there is much healing and possibility.

I fell in love with Newtown and Sandy Hook.  I fell in love with the children and their families.  I give thanks – and pray for Sue, Kathie, and the other adults who are walking this tough journey with their congregation and community.

While there is grief, sadness, and loss, there is also hope.  There is an opportunity for celebration as we gather together, break bread, talk, and are welcomed.  Whether it is through cooking, painting, or Eucharist, we come together to remember.

“This little light of mine…I’m gonna let it shine…”

Roger Hutchison is Canon for Children’s Ministries and Communication at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Columbia, SC. When Roger felt the need to express his relationship with God, he turned to painting. Roger’s book, “The Painting Table: A Journal of Loss and Joy” will be published in 2014 by Church Publishing Incorporated. The Painting Table was made possible at Trinity Episcopal Church in Newtown, Connecticut through the financial support of St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church in Wilton, Connecticut (Pearson’s home congregation) and The Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut.